Bits of Ill-Logic

Sounds logical, just don't think about it too long.

Aging

In 1968 when my son was 1 day old, I was 26 - about 9500 times as old as he was.

When he was a 1 year old, I was 27 - 27 times as old.

In 1990 my son was 22 years old, I was 48 - 2.18 times as old.

This year my son will be 46 years old, I will be 72 - only 1.56 times as old.

My logical conclusion --- he's getting older, faster than I am.

(This uses Abbot & Costello or Ma & Pa Kettle math -- Look it up youngsters.)

Gravitational Attraction

As forces go, gravity is not a very strong force, but its attractiveness is persistent and affects every object in the universe. With that in mind --- take something long and slender, like a belt or tie and lay it on top of a bed or table, with a portion of it hanging over the side. Eventually, depending on how much is over the side, gravity will pull the entire object off the table and to the floor. (Never fails!)

This is my "Belt-Tie Theory of Gravitational Attraction". This attraction should be researched by NASA for use in the Space Program. Just take something long and slender, attach it to anything you want to put in space, hang it over the edge of the earth, and wait for it to drop off.

Fluorescent Light Bulbs

Fluorescent light bulbs don't give out light, they take in darkness.

When they have taken in all the darkness they can hold, (you can tell by the black ends on the tube) they have to be replaced.

I would give credit to the comedian who originated this, but who?